12 Days of Fiction 2018, Day Twelve
The Toils Of Parenthood
Hi Iyana.
I don’t know when you’ll learn to speak and write, but I thought I’m going to keep sending you these messages. I’ll record them so you’ll get them once a week. It’s complicated for me, because… well, time is different for you and me. You’ll learn that in the future, but let’s say I’m too far away.
So, if you want to see these, well, do it. And if you don’t, just tell me and… and I’ll stop.
*****
Hi… Dad? Mom says you’re my Dad, and that you’re not home because you’re a spaceship captain! And that we cannot really speak because you’re too far. You said that time is different for you and me in one of your messages. How can that be? I want to learn that, but Mom says I’m still too little.
When will you be back? Mom doesn’t say.
*****
Happy birthday Iyana!
Here’s your birthday present: this is our spaceship bridge. You said you wanted to see it, so here it is!
This is the navigational computer. It flies the ship. We don’t modify that unless there’s an emergency.
Meanwhile, we’re always making science! We’re all scientists and engineers aboard, so we’re never bored. If you like all this, I’ll keep telling you. Just tell me, I’ll eventually know.
*****
Hi Dad.
I’m sorry, my last message was almost a month ago. I didn’t know how to tell you this, but… well, here goes.
Mum is getting married. There, I said it.
I don’t know if you mind or not, but his boyfriend, Jase, doesn’t seem really happy with her messaging you every week and you messaging back. So she’s not sending anything else.
I’m only twelve, I shouldn’t be doing this.
Sorry, Dad, I know it’s not your fault. It’s just that sometimes I wished… I wished you were here.
*****
Hi Iyana.
I just saw your message about your mother getting married. It’s alright. I wish I could have been there if you needed me. I… I’m not good about this. Being a father is supposed to be hard, but this is the longest distance ever… Ah, damn, I’m not making any sense.
I guess I mean I’m sorry you had to go through all of it alone. I’m sorry you have this… weird life. I also know that when you read this, it will long be over for you…
All of this is madness. But I guess it’s all we have.
Also, this is important: we reach Alpha in a week. Well, not Alpha, but Terra Nova. That means the delay between messages will be constant for six Earth years.
That’s something. It has to be.
*****
Hi Dad.
I’ve decided I want to be an astrophysicist. I hope you’ll like it. I’ll start the university after the summer.
*****
Hi Iyana.
I’m so proud you’ve finished your studies!
I’m dating a girl here. Well, a woman! Her name’s Kali, if you can believe it. If she heard me call her a girl she’d kill me.
*****
Hi Dad.
I’ve told you before about how bad I’m with relationships, haven’t I?
Well, I’ll have to amend that. I found out why when I met Estrella. I wasn’t sure about it and didn’t want to… ruin it somehow. I know, that’s silly. Anyway, we’re dating. Heavily.
*****
Hi Iyana.
I’m so happy for you and Estrella. Your home looks beautiful. And I always loved dogs, but we only had cats when I was a kid, have I ever told you about that?
The ship back home leaves Terra Nova next week.
Still ten years to go.
*****
Hi Dad.
Don’t worry for us, Estrella is alright. It turns out she’s a diabetic. No worries there, she’s got her treatment. I’m crying because…
Mum has died.
Sorry, I’ll be back later.
*****
Hi Iyana.
I’m getting a bit claustrophobic. Funny, it hadn’t happened before. Maybe I’m anxious, I don’t know. We have psychologists on board, I’ll make an appointment.
*****
Hi Dad.
I’m sorry Kali was so much a colonist, as you put it. You looked real happy.
Estrella and I are getting used to life without Mum. I know the news still haven’t reached you.
Damn, this is crazy.
*****
Hi Iyana.
My therapist says I have to open up more. But my position as a captain doesn’t really allow me to do that.
So I thought that maybe I should be more honest to the most important person in my life.
I’m so sorry. Sorry, sorry. I wish I was a better father, a better person. I… I don’t know what to say. I wish I was there and could hold you.
I’ve seen you grow, Iyana. But always like this. I never thought I’d feel like this, I never imagined this would be so hard for me, and I am a full grown man. Yet you were a small girl, then a teenager, then a woman, and I’ve never been there for you. I cannot even begin to imagine everything you’ve gone through.
I’m sorry. I was never there when you needed me.
*****
Hi Dad.
I just got one of your last month’s messages. The one where you broke down.
Two things.
One: you were always there for me. No matter what happened, I had all your messages stored. I used to watch them and they soothed me, when you talked to my six-year-old self. When you sang me those terrible songs of your youth. When you explained relativity to me. It was a world of my own, only you and me.
Two: you know this as well as I do, but from next week we will be able to speak. The delay will allow it. I… I can’t wait. I hope you feel the same.
Did I say two things?
Sorry. It’s three things. Come Estrella and say hi, I want Dad to see us together for this!
Dad, you’re going to be a granddad… And I’m the one who’s sorry now, because I know that you’re now my age!
Happy birthday to you, Gran!
Here’s the first part of this story: Unexpected Time Travel.
