Spilling His Heart
I have a confession to make. I like slasher movies.
I know what you’re thinking: “How’s that possible? A man in his position?” But yes, it is indeed possible. It’s one of my weaknesses. You know the other one, of course. But I digress. A weakness it is, yes, but I cannot help it. It wouldn’t be a weakness otherwise, would it?
You see, I think they’re fun. I’ve dedicated some time to analyzing them. More often than not, it will start with a group of teenagers. Boys and girls, most of them really attractive and, shall I say it, horny. You’ll see why later. You may have one or two awkward people. Geeks or nerds. Another confession? You don’t mind, of course.
I identify with them. I was a geek in high school. One of the weird ones. I bet you didn’t see that one coming, did you? But I was. So I prefer the movies that include the outsiders. Sadly, they’re not required. Pretty girls are.
Anyway, the group of teenagers will be alone. Say, camping in the forest. Or out for spring break. Or a deserted beach. Or, this is one variation I specially like, on the road in a van. They have decided they want a vacation someplace away and they have all packed up and gone. You’ll probably have a couple who barely can keep their hands off each other by now. The rest will look on them and want to do the same.
You see, the sexual component is important. It’s always there, in my opinion. I’ve watched some where it had been… how can I say it? Left out? And it’s simply not the same. Oh, sometimes it’s very clever and subtle, yes. Furtive glances, hands touching. A couple that acts as if nobody else knew, and wait until they can be alone. Another secret: there’s usually somebody else who knows.
Oh, sorry, I just remembered something! Jealousy! Yes, some of the most intelligent plots also weave jealousy in. Another person in the group is in love with one of the member of “the couple”. This is interesting, you’ll see.
So, sorry by my digressions. The group will reach their destination. Yes, you’re right, sometimes the movie starts when they’re already there, but you’ll agree with me it’s more amusing this way. Usually the destination is deserted. I like the ones at empty houses. I bet you could see that, couldn’t you? A common variation is one or two people there, such as a guard at a camping site.
And quite soon the action starts.
And somebody dies. Oh, don’t be like that. This was a slasher movie after all, you knew that was coming. We were going to have our first victim soon. One point is essential: a gruesome death. And then there’s a variation: we may or may not see the murderer.
You know, after all these years I’m still undecided. Many of the most fondly regarded slashers do show you the murderer, because his looks are important. Usually there will be some kind of mask involved: a hockey mask, a mask made of flayed human flesh. Even scars count as a mask. But we can never see the face behind the mask, and indeed when the movie is really good, it will hint at you knowing who’s hiding there.
Another aspect of the murderer is usually his weapon. Axes are quite common, frankly, and the chainsaw was once a brilliant move, but I have to say that it’s a bit too overdone nowadays. Oh, and there’s an appreciated variation where there will be a number of different weapons. Indeed, where the same weapon will never be used twice. Or we’ll see…
But let’s go back to our first death. You see, this is an important point of the movie. I’m not going to reveal anything you didn’t already know, I suppose, but the use of a murderer is that the teenagers, at some point, discover there’s a murderer, and try to escape. So, we have an option here: either they discover the situation they’re in early on, such as now, or later. If you want them to keep the tension building and have your characters discover it later, you need to have someone they’ve left alone to be the first victim, so that person isn’t missed until a bit later. Say someone is left back unpacking and bam! First victim.
Your other option is to have the first death happen when all of them are together, so they know from the start they’re in grave danger. Grave danger, I’ve always liked that one.
Sorry. You can imagine what I prefer, I guess. The tension, the tension. The real masters know how to make it build. They’ll give us that first solitary death so we know, yet the other kids won’t. But of course we did know it was going to happen! Every work of fiction entails a pact between author and audience, after all. This way we’ve seen it happen, yet we’re kept wondering when are they going to notice.
When will they know they’re going to die.
Die.
Sorry. I let myself be carried away. Where was I? Ah yes, the first death. So, the others will eventually discover the body and panic will ensue. Lovely. They’ll discover there’s no electricity, possibly. No phone in classic movies, no mobile coverage in modern ones.
Variations start here. You will have a hero, or heroin. That character will somehow manage to maintain her head cool in this situation and try to make them escape. She may be the geek and go to fix the electricity, or find an escape route. Whatever the director feels like. The rest of the group, inevitably, will split. Absurd move, but it’ always happens.
Variations, I said. Recall the sex? You’re going to have sex. Not always, yes, but almost always. There are two options here: the first one is that the horniest couple had already split from the group. You know, those who couldn’t stop groping each other. They will have found a place for themselves and won’t know anything about their dead mate. We will have them naked and, I’m afraid, they’ll die together. The other option will be that they will be left alone after the first death, and somehow they’ll both think sex will be comforting in this situation. You can guess which one I prefer. Obviously the first one is more realistic, don’t you think?
Anyway, by this point we’ll be well into the movie. As the audience, we’ll already be in a roller coaster: who’s going to die and how? When you have a murderer with an iconic weapon, the question is when is he going to appear. In all cases, victims will pile, and the ones left alive will lose hope…
The ending. We get to the ending. It used to be a stand-off, you see. The last member of the group against the murderer. And more often than not, the kid will win, only to discover, after peeling off the mask, that it had been the first victim all along, because he had faked his death. Clever, isn’t it?
And then you start to have variations. Like two murderers, only we didn’t know it. The first death was faked, but you needed a murderer for that scene, and this second one will kill the hero right now. Ha, you didn’t see that coming, did you? You can have tens of permutations here.
Oh, and a fan favourite: the unexpected couple who survives, kills the murderer and make their escape. Only in the last minute the murderer is revealed not to have died and with his last breath manages to kill one of the couple, breaking them apart.
And, listen to me well, the twist I prefer: the supernatural effect. The one where the heroin, the last one standing, kills the murderer and rips off his mask, and then puts it on herself and becomes the new murderer, because, of course, you need to have a franchise, don’t you?
Ah.
I’m afraid I’m boring you, am I not? I’m so sorry. I just like to babble on and on about my hobbies. A geek after all, remember? I like what I like and I don’t have to justify myself, that’s what being a geek means.
Now please don’t move. This won’t be over soon, it will take some time. Otherwise I don’t enjoy it, and where would the fun in it be?
****
He slid his surgical mask over his mouth and raised the scalpel towards the flesh of his restrained victim. She started screaming under her gag, but in his basement, the screams didn’t carry over.
~~~~
This is my entry for this week’s Chuck Wendig’s Flash Fiction Challenge: Slasher Movie Edition. To make a long story short, this week’s challenge was 1500 words, somehow inspired by Slasher Movies.
Great. I don’t like slashers. I’ve watched some, of course, and always on the TV, but it’s not a genre I enjoy. So I decided to go a bit meta and give it a twist.
